Party of Five: The World is Different When You Have 3 Kids

fathers dayWhen we had our first child, life was simple. We went out to eat, and pulled up a high chair.  When we traveled, we brought our pack ‘n’ play, piled stuff in our SUV, and off we went.  We even flew a few times since our son flew for free the first 2 years.  As he got older, we enjoyed activities with kids prices, or perhaps a child was free with adult purchase.  And hotels were simple:  either get 2 beds, or get a room that had a bed for us and a pullout couch for our son.

Then everything changed. We got pregnant.  We were so excited, and our son really wanted a sibling (ok, he really wanted a brother).   The day we went to the doctor to hear the heartbeat, we were nervous, hoping everything would be fine with the baby.   When the doctor said, “there’s the heartbeat,” and we saw the flashing on the screen, we were overcome with joy!  Then, the doctor said, “aaaand…there’s the other heartbeat!”  Wait, what? Two hearbeats?!  Now we were overcome with…fear, panic, shock, concern…and, oh yeah, more joy!

We went out to dinner that night, and my wife and I sat quietly in the restaurant eating. You could hear the clinking of silverware on our plates as we were both deep in thought, digesting our new reality.  Then suddenly, I looked up and said, “Frank, party of five, your table is now ready.”

Everything Changes With 3 Kids

Everything changes when you have 3 kids instead of 2. We didn’t realize at the time the extent, but over the past nearly 6 years, we have discovered it first hand!  To everyone out there who has 3 kids, you know all-too-well what I’m talking about!  It’s more than just one extra mouth to feed, one more body to clothe, or one more opinion to consider.  Having 3 kids has ramifications you don’t think about until you experience it!

Restaurants

Let’s start with restaurants. Some of you with two kids may not think it’s a big deal.  But having that third child often adds 20 minutes onto your wait for a table!  Anyone who has experience in the restaurant business can tell you there are plenty of “4-tops” as well as “2-tops” that can be put together.  But 5-tops?  That’s a whole different situation.  Now you need to wait for one of the 2 or 3 round-tops in the restaurant.  Or you need to add a 2-top to a 4-top (no big deal right? Except you need to wait for those to open up next to each other!).  And you can probably eliminate all the booths unless they are bigger.  Sometimes, you can just put a chair at the end of a booth…as long as it doesn’t block an aisle or create a fire hazard!  And in the early days with twins, good luck finding two high chairs!  We found many restaurants that only had maybe 3 high chairs to begin with.  If there was more than one kid in the place, we had no shot.  When we did get our 2 high chairs, we proceeded to rearrange everything around us to configure ourselves comfortably.  But eventually we would be seated!  Now on to the menu.  When you have a family of five, it’s great when you find a good restaurant where kids eat free.  But it’s maddening when it’s “kids eat free with purchase of an adult entrée.”  We are two adults…with three kids!  It just doesn’t work out.

Travel

Then there’s travel. Oh, the joys of traveling with 3 kids!  It starts with your vehicle.  When we had 1 child, we had a 4-door sedan and an SUV.  We used the SUV for our long trips, and that worked great.  We figured with a second child the SUV would still do the job.  But when we found out we were having twins, we had to take that one leap we thought we’d never take:  we bought a minivan.  With 3 kids, all of a sudden a long weekend involved piling 2 pack ‘n’ plays in the car along with multiple suitcases, etc.  Even standard trips around the neighborhood required 2 child seats…which meant our older son was relegated to the third row (he created his own fortress back there on trips).  Of course we could always just fly.  Yeah right!  We have not even bothered to attempt the 3-child shuffle through security yet!

Once we arrived at our destination, we had to check into a hotel. Again, those who have 3 kids know our dilemma!  A simple room with 2 beds, or 1 bed and a sofa bed, was no longer enough.  We had to either find a room with 2 beds AND a sofa (very rare, and if you get one, the beds are doubles, not queens), or go with 2 beds and pay extra for a rollaway (assuming there’s room to squeeze it in).  Regardless, you’ve got 5 people tripping over each other and a rollaway or pull-out sofa.  Don’t even ask me where to put the suitcases.  There is never enough drawers for a family of five, and usually only 1 suitcase stand.  So it’s pure chaos.  The only other solution is to pay more, and get a suite.

Disney

But hey, it’s all worth it when you’re taking the kids to Disney World, right? I mean, that one other kid only requires one extra ticket.  And at Disney, you get to buy a child ticket for a whopping $5 less than an adult ticket!  And of course, what’s an extra meal several times when you’re at the happiest place on earth.  Once you get there, there are numerous wonderful rides where people are paired up…yes, the wonderful two-seaters.  So…someone in the family gets separated so they can ride with a stranger.  Not a huge deal, but one more little annoyance that those of us with 3 kids experience.

Ultimately, you can always go with the staycation. Every city has some great options, from aquariums to amusement parks to museums to zoos.  And most of them have family memberships, which is fantastic.  Unless your family has 5 people!  Many standard family memberships are good for 2 adults and 2 children.  There’s no break for a third child.  You have to buy an extra individual membership. Similarly, many events, including ice shows, sporting events, concerts, and circuses, will offer “family deals.”  Usually, these include 4 tickets, 4 hot dogs and 4 drinks (or something similar).  Oh, you have 5?  Good luck finding a single ticket located next to your 4-pack!

Maybe I’ll just stay home. After all, have you ever tried to get out of the house with 3 kids?!

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Do you have 3 kids? What experiences have you had that are unique for a party of five?  I’d love to hear from you!  And those of you in business, what can you do to make your company more five-friendly?

 

 

 

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